Filed under: ECT
From The Telegraph: Straight-A schoolchildren at higher risk of bipolar disorder, research claims
Clever children are almost four times more likely to suffer from the condition, which is also known as manic depression.
The latest finding, published in the British Journal of Psychiatry, supports a commonly held belief that exceptional intellectual ability is associated with the mental illness.
Filed under: ECT
(follow up to “There, I said it”)
The professor is talking to us, the students, about some important points regarding our major project, but I only see that her mouth is moving. My mind can barely register what she is saying because today, for the first time, we are all talking about our progress on our respective ethnography projects in front of the class. One by one, each student presents his or her general idea for the study as other students give feedback to the idea. I try to look and act interested in everyone’s projects, but in my head, I am rehearsing what I might want to say when it is my turn. What do I need to say? Can I get away with not saying certain things? Perhaps my professor noticed my looking a bit tense, so she points at other students to present their idea, but not yet to me. Pretty soon, there are only two of us left that have yet to talk about their project, and the professor gestures for the other student to start talking. “Oh, I’m going to be the last one….,” I thought to myself as I tried hard to listen to the classroom interaction. Then, the professor signals for me to present my project. By this point, I knew what I had to say to the class:
“I have bipolar disorder, and for the past year, I have been going through electroconvulsive therapy, or shock treatments, as some of you may have heard that term. And I am writing about what it’s like to be an ECT patient.”
I continue talking about some of the details and questions that I had, and some of the classmates ask me questions about the project. At the end of the discussion, my professor directs a smile to me as she says in front of the rest of the class, “You’re very brave in doing this.”
Class soon comes to an end, and one classmate comes up to me and says, “I’m really interested in your project, because I’m bipolar, too.” Another tells me that she was a victim of child abuse. It seemed as if, after what I said, some felt as if they could let their guard down.
Now, I can really say, “There, I said it.”
Filed under: ECT
According to psychotherapist Gary Greenberg in the new book “Manufacturing Depression,” the “depression doctors” have simply convinced millions of people that their unhappiness is really a disease.
From a review in The Brooklyn Rail:
it’s just a story we have allowed the medical establishment to tell us. There is no biochemical marker for depression, no good way to tell who is and who isn’t depressed. The tools doctors use to diagnose depression, as well as the other varieties of mental illness, are based on symptoms alone—whether someone is eating or sleeping more or less than usual, for example, or suffering from excessive guilt, or engaging in too much self-criticism. Most of what’s diagnosed as depression is, in other words, nothing more than the name our society gives to a particular kind of emotional and mental suffering considered worthy of fixing.
Until I actually read the book, I can’t adequately comment on Mr. Greenberg’s book. However, just reading the reviews makes me wonder if the times I’ve spent with my mind filled with suicidal thoughts were just normal part of life, not because I have depression. When do we consider someone’s behavior to be a “legitimate” mental illness? And if depression is truly manufactured, then how should I view my experience with ECT? Am I just a person who’ve tragically bought in to all the lies and have gone too far in trying to ‘treat’ an “illness”?
Filed under: ECT
It’s February. It’s technically a short month, but for me, it’s a month I could do without.Dr. A likened this month for me as kind of like my "9/11." I suppose that’s true. My first suicide attempt was in February. I can still recall that day, and the fear I felt being inside a psychiatric hospital for the first time. Every time February rolls around, I just think back to those moments and feel as if I am going to be taken back to that psychiatric hospital.
I am scared. I don’t know how this month is going to go. I can already feel the weight of having to go through this month. Will I crumble simply from this imagined fear that I have?
I do wonder if I will handle things differently since this is the first time since having ECT that I will be living through these 28 days. But I realize I cannot rely on that. It’s my responsibility to make this month go as smoothly. And the thing is, I have lived through several Februarys, and I’m still here. "This, too, shall pass," someone said to me once. So, I have to remember that I can make through it again, onto March.
I actually found this article in the Executive Health section of BusinessWeek. I”m glad publications like BusinessWeek is choosing to cover issues about mental health.
Workers Fear Stigma of Seeking Mental Health Care
Among employees, 76 percent believed their work status would be damaged by seeking treatment for drug addiction, 73 percent for alcoholism, and 62 percent for depression, compared with 55 percent who thought seeking care for diabetes would affect their work status and 54 percent for heart disease.
Filed under: in the news, mental health | Tags: health insurance mental health coverage, paul wellstone and pete domenici mental health act
I can’t believe it! Yesterday, The Paul Wellstone and Pete Domenici Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act of 2008 was finally implemented, prohibiting group health insurance plans from restricting access to care by limiting benefits and requiring higher patient costs for mental health and substance abuse disorders compared with those costs that apply to general medical or surgical benefits.
The new rules were jointly issued yesterday by the US Department of Labor, the US Department of Health and Human Services, and the Treasury. This act was originally passed by the House in 2008 but never became law until now.
The act expands on the Mental Health Parity Act of 1996, which required parity in lifetime benefits for mental and physical disorders and was not applicable to substance use disorder benefits. According to the Department of Health and Human Services release, the new law applies to out-of-pocket costs, benefit limits, and practices such as prior authorization and use review.
Beginning on or after July 1, 2010, the Act will apply to group coverage provided by employers with 50 or more workers whose group health plans offer mental health or substance use disorder benefits.
From Newsweek-
A Doctor Disagrees: Antidepressants have helped not only my patients, but myself.
My own sense, based in part on my own personal experience, as well as that of patients I have treated, is that antidepressants can definitely work for milder depression—not for everyone, but for many. Why, then, the debate and apparently contradictory findings?
“I’m having shock therapy,” I said to her, after I hesitated for a moment to think just what other story I could make up. “And I’m writing about my experience of going through it.”
It was an odd moment, since we were in class, and other people were around us when she asked me the question, “What are you writing your research on?”
I’ve never said to anyone what I have been going through unless I had a need and/or wanted to tell them about ECT. So, in a way, it was a moment of nervousness, and then again, a moment of release. I realized that I can tell others about ECT (and by extension, about bipolar disorder/mental illness) without feeling embarrassed about it. And that I also shouldn’t assume that other people will be shocked by it or don’t want to hear about it. I shouldn’t have to apologize for what’s happened in my life, because it’s what it is.
As for the research, my professor recommended that I write an autoethnography for my qualitative methods assignment (I’ll talk about it some more later). What this is going to mean is that I will have to present my project in front of the entire class at the end of the semester. But now I know that I will be fine when I stand up and say, “I have bipolar disorder and I am going through electroconvulsive therapy.”
Filed under: in the news, mental health | Tags: benzos, sleep aids, sleeping pills
Just found a column on Huffington Post about the effect of sleeping pills and how they work.
Here’s the entire article. and below’s a portion of that post:
1) Benzos cut down on your rapid eye movement sleep. That’s when you rehearse your daily activities, like how to tie your shoelaces if you are a toddler, how to drive with a stick shift if you are a teenager, or how to hit the ball out of the park if you are Babe Ruth. Being on benzos means you will most likely strike out.
2) Benzos reduce slow wave sleep which is really deep sleep. Since slow wave sleep is important for the consolidation of facts and events, those of you on benzos are going to be less likely to ace that exam or make the right calls on the trading floor.
3) The good news for drug companies is that the more you use benzos, the more you will use benzos. You will need larger doses of them and more often. You may even get to the point (and many people do) where you cannot sleep without them. Addiction and dependence are good for selling drugs on and off the street.
4) Benzos exacerbate sleep disorders like sleep apnea. Sadly, all the increased snoring will bode poorly for your spouse or partner who may then need to go on benzos themselves.
5) Being on benzos long-term can produce memory loss that mimics dementia. True.
6) Chronic benzo use causes daytime sleepiness, reduced concentration, irritability and anxiety. These symptoms occur regardless of dosage.
Filed under: Other | Tags: me and julio down by the schoolyard, Paul Simon, pausing in life, taking time
I have to be honest it hasn’t been the greatest last few days. In addition to that (or because of that), I ran into an absolute dearth of ideas for a post. It’s odd; I’ve been busy before, but it’s the first time in a while where I couldn’t write at all for days. Perhaps the way this post reads still reflects that state of mind, but I have to get back to it, or I’ll lose my habit of writing on a regular basis.
Anyway, with a little bump in med dosage and some exercise, I feel a little better. But what lifted my spirits up a little more this morning as I drove around to do some errands? Paul Simon. I sang along to his classics, like “You can call me Al,” “Graceland,” and my favorite “me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard.” The line “I’m on my way, I don’t know where I’m going” always makes me pause and think for a second. Where am I? Do I know where I’m going? Do I need to know where I’m going? To me, the song reminds us that as long as you’re moving in life, it’s okay to not be so clear about the goal. By the way, it also reminds me why I named my cat Simon in the first place (I play this CD every time he’s in the car).
So, maybe I haven’t felt good recently. But even if I don’t know exactly where I’m going in life, I know I’m still on my way to getting better. I’m just taking my time…
Filed under: depression, in the news | Tags: chocolate health benefits, eat chocolate, stress and chocolate
According to a clinical trial published online in ACS’ Journal of Proteome Research, it found that eating about an ounce and a half of dark chocolate a day for two weeks reduced levels of stress hormones in the bodies of people feeling highly stressed. Chocolate also partially corrected other stress-related biochemical imbalances. Read more
The last two days have reminded me of depression.
The sky is gray, and the rain is pounding on my car as I drive to school. The roads are slick, and the rain makes it nearly impossible to see the lines painted on the pavement. I set my windshield wipers to the fastest speed possible, but that barely helps; it looks like the water is being poured right onto my car. The other cars seem unconcerned by all of this. They are moving at the usual pace, with every vehicle passing me by on the lanes next to me. I try to push on the accelerator pedal as hard as I can, but the car will not go any faster. I feel as if I am getting left behind and that I will never get to my destination.
It is still raining hard when I eventually get to the parking lot. I am already dreading having to drive back.
Filed under: in the news, mental health | Tags: kids emotional training, youth mental health program
If a person tends to see small disappointments as catastrophes or failures, they can become depressed or anxious. It’s a common trick our minds can play on us, as children and as adults. But once thoughts are more aligned with reality, emotional responses can change for the better.
Gillham and her colleagues have developed a curriculum aimed at teaching middle-school students specific strategies to challenge these thought patterns and manage stress. It’s backed by 15 years of research that shows the benefits of this strategy. It’s called resilience training, and it can be as powerful as taking antidepressant medicines. Read the rest of the story
Filed under: ECT | Tags: effects of ECT, having ECT, shock therapy, shock treatment experience
It was a year ago today that I underwent my first electroconvulsive therapy.Though I don’t remember everything, I can still recall the nervousness I felt throughout my body as I was first led to the ECT room. It was supposed to be a six-to-twelve time event, but it somehow stretched to fifteen, and now, to twenty-five. A year ago I was really scared about how things were going change after these treatments. What I find now is that it’s not so much that things have changed as much as the fact that I can now realize that things are okay as they are.
So, where am I now? I’m currently in school studying sociology and have a part-time job. I haven’t spent too many days hidden under the covers, and I’ve been pretty good about taking care of my body, whether by bathing or otherwise. All these little things matter, but the biggest change from last year is that I’m actually alive. I mean, last January, my body may not have been dead but I had stopped living a life and had planned on really dying by the following month. For months, that was my only plan. Though I do not have concrete goals and plans at the moment, I don’t find myself considering suicide as a logical option.
I do give much credit to ECT for getting me to where I am today, but I must acknowledge that without support from my family, I would have never been able to go through this procedure. (My mother left the country, with my father left at home, and stayed with me for three months so that she can take me every other day to these treatments.) Also, I thank everyone, whom I know and don’t know, who sent me notes of encouragement throughout the year. It is so easy to think that only you exist in your journey, but I am constantly reminded that I am not alone. And then, there’s my “Dr. Melfi.” She is the one who advised that I give ECT a try, and without her guidance, I doubt I would be alive.
I am thankful, but am I no longer depressed? I don’t know. I am not sure at what point I am declared “normal.” I still have my ups and downs, though they occur as fleeting moments rather than debilitating crises. I am often in a state of self-reflection, and I wonder to what extent such is connected to an illness and what’s just who I am. What I can say for myself is that I think I’m doing okay, which doesn’t sound all that great, but to me, it’s a huge accomplishment. I still don’t know what it means to be ‘happy,’ but perhaps I’m on that road to find out.
I suppose there’s more to say, but I can save it for later entries because I plan on being around to write them.
My house is still messy, but I guess that’s just me being me. Maybe I’ll learn to clean as I learn to live one day at a time.
Filed under: bipolar disorder | Tags: meds, psychiatric meds, taking medication
Everyday I take bupropion SR (Wellbutrin), Concerta, fluoxetine (Prozac), Abilify and zolpidem tartrate (Ambien).
For some reason, my mother is always worried about the amount of medication I take. Today I talked to Mom and she asked me if my medication intake has been reduced since I began maintenance ECT. I had to tell her no, and that I didn’t know when that might happen. She’s hoping that the continued ECT will lead to less medication because she thinks these psych meds are bad for the body. It’s true that often times a patient may need less medication after ECT, and sure, I wouldn’t mind taking less medication. But is it more important than being stable, even if it means I rely on a number of drugs? On the other hand, if the number of medication isn’t reduced as a result of ECT, does it mean that the whole treatment is a failure?
It is ultimately my personal decision to have ECT on a continued basis, and I am not questioning that decision. But my mother’s wish to see me take less medication makes me wonder if I should make that one of my eventual goals from this treatment. Now that I think about it, should I have some clear-cut goals, like less medication? What should be the eventual goal of maintenance electroconvulsive therapy?
