jumpstarting a life with a little spark to the head

Greeting cards are fascinating, I kept thinking as I perused the aisles of this Hallmark card shop, which sold other non-card items besides those ornaments and little keepsakes. They had a large collection of Crocs and other footwear, in case people need to buy shoes as they pick up a thank-you card, I suppose. It’s interesting how cards are so tailored to specifics these days. You can’t buy a generic birthday card; they make you choose according to the recipient’s gender, age, if s/he enjoys humor, religious preference, or any other category you could think to distinguish that person. So, when I was looking at the Get Well card section, I noticed that you can now buy get-well cards specified for a particular illness: cancer. There are even cards targeted just for breast-cancer patients and ‘happy 1st year of survival’ cards. It’s understandable since over one million people get cancer each year. Though there are only 100,000 or so who receive ECT per year, I figured, why don’t I think up of some catchy greeting card phrases for the ECT patient?

Here are a few ridiculously lame card messages. Please send your suggestions so I can draw up a card.

Outside: “Heard you were having ECT…”
Inside: “Hope the treatment goes shockingly smoothly.”

Outside: “You said you needed more sparks in your life,”
Inside: “I guess you’re getting them now.  Get well soon.”

Outside: “You may experience some memory loss…”
Inside: “At least you might get to forget all the bad times! Hope your treatment goes well.”