A Life Lesson from George W. Bush (Really)

“It’s pathetic, isn’t it, self-pity.” George W. Bush Press Conference, 1.12.09

One more week. I woke up to a meow and a paw of my cat and thought, “Wow. one more week.” Though a slight haze from a sleep aid was still there, it’s been a while since I got out of bed feeling, in my assessment, noticeably better than this time last week. I know the insidious thoughts of suicide can find themselves back again, but the mood this morning was a pleasant surprise to a long few months. (On a semi-related note, these long stretches of depression is why I’ve sometimes quit the medication, just hoping that a hypomanic moment will appear so my senses become alive again . I believe this futile  tactic has failed practically every time, but I always keep hoping.) Anyway, I didn’t quit the meds this time; I think some of this ‘lift’ has to do with just accepting this occasion. Let us see how this evolves in the coming days.

My earlier part of the morning was spent watching President George W. Bush’s last news conference (I find NBC’s political director/chief WH correspondent Chuck Todd to be so sharp….and kind of cute). As I watched Dubya, I wondered if he, too, was thinking, “Wow. One more week.” Of the many interesting things he’s said over the last eight years, he said something today that struck a personal chord with me: “It’s pathetic, isn’t it, self-pity.” I’d like to think that I have lived a life that haven’t seemed full of self-pity, but I question whether some of my choices and behaviors have inadvertently or tacitly been those of someone who really holds self-pity. I hope this is not the case, but I just don’t think my life post-ECT would be as complete  if some re-evaluation of my present self doesn’t go on now. Profound words from George W. Bush…I suppose I may have “misunderestimated” his degree of  sage insight.

On a totally separate note, I am relieved of not having to remember one of the events around ECT: the AFC and NFC Championships and the Super Bowl. No Titans or the Manning brothers, but I’m sure Eli and Peyton will be in a commercial. I was also sad to read that Tony Dungy will not be coaching the Indianapolis Colts next year. I’ve liked the Colts, not only because of Peyton Manning, but because of Tony Dungy’s grace as a coach and a person.

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One Comment to “A Life Lesson from George W. Bush (Really)”

  1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings and opening your soul. I watch my loved one deal with the same despair and hopelessness. I sincerely pray that this is the way for you to find hope.

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