out of my mind…

I think this may be the time to talk specifically about memory loss and ECT. It’s  funny what leaves your head. For example, on the way to the hospital, I had absolutely no idea which turn to make first.  Good thing I’m not allowed to drive right now. I am literally at a loss as to which turn to make at every point in the intersection even if I’ve been there a countless times.

Things you’re not even trying to remember leaves your mind. Another aspect of my mind that keeps leaving me is language, especially Japanese vocabulary. Whenever I’m trying to speak to my mother in Japanese, I have to pause for a minute and really think of the word I am intending on pronouncing. The words escape me, and I wonder why that is. Is it because I learned this language first?

Another thing I can’t seem to remember is where I bought any merchandise. I bought some stepstool at PotteryBarnKids last week, and even when I’m looking at it, I still can’t remember where it came from. What seems to be happening is that any pertinent information is bound to leave my mind. One thing I caught on television that I didn’t have to see is the episode “White Coat of Primer” on Six Feet Under. In the episode, they recreated the ECT scene for George, played by James Cromwell. It was quite vivid. I never knew it looked that graphic. My voyeuristic side would want someone to take a photo of my ECT, but then again that might be a bit creepy.


One Comment to “out of my mind…”

  1. I always remember going to the shops for the first time, months after ECT. I couldn’t remember getting there when I got there and had no clue how to get home. My mum and step dad had to come and pick me up and my step dad had to drive my car home. I loss the plot LOL
    Even after 3 yrs since ECT I forget names, holidays, people I dated, loved ones that have died, walking in on someone who hung themselves and I brought back to life using CPR. I don’t have any memory of, other than the diary I kept which tells me what I went through over the 10 months I was hospitalized.

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