It was bound to happen. Mother and I had a long conversation on her last day here. She’s been here for over two months and I am so thankful that she has been able to be here, and am grateful for both my parents for their support. While my mother was with her daughters, my father was all alone in the homeland, and working hard to provide for the whole family, including their two grown children.

Mom’s having to come to the States for this chunk of time was not a easy thing for her at this point in her life. She was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer in fall 2007, had surgery and then endured about a year-long course of chemotherapy. Mother finished up with the chemo less than six months ago.

There’s much to say about our long chat, which I’m sure I’ll figure out later how to put it coherently into sentences.

My mom’s projected five-year survival rate is not promising, and she did ask me to promise that while she’s alive, if I could start building the life that I could be proud of, and moreover, that I would not die by my own hands. I really hope that I can keep that promise, if not for her sake, then for mine.

Thank you, mom. Even though she was here under a hard set of circumstances (and we don’t always agree on everything), I am so glad I was able to spend this much time with her.

One Comment to “Mother”

  1. I have two children, one 22, one 18. I cause them great worry and feel great guilt about it. They are not supposed to worry about their mother.
    A little less than a year ago, when I was still seeing my long-term psychiatrist, whom I only stopped seeing for money purposes, that psychiatrist did her best, while staying professional, to guilt me for any thoughts of suicide. We had already drawn a line in the sand after I was released from my first in-house psych ward stay for suicidal obsession. She made sure the line was carved in. She said that she treated family members of people who committed suicide. She said they can never heal, their pain is immeasurable. She focused on children because that was what my case called for. But a mother, I am one, would just wilt away, and would never recover. I know you don’t want to kill yourself. Just add, for good measure, your mother to the picture if you ever think about it again.

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