spellbound and tongue-tied

There’s actually been quite a lot going on, especially emotionally, this week. However, I just haven’t been able to put them into words in some coherent order. I’ve trying to write daily, but it’s like any motivation has been sapped out of me. My friend suggest that I just write down some stuff, and writing guides and stuff always encourage writing for the sake of writing….so, here’s some stuff.

-I really enjoy watching the spelling bee. Not just any bee, but the Scripps National Spelling Bee on ESPN and ABC primetime. And today, I spent hours just watching the competition. It’s just so interesting. Studying for a bee during fifth grade is one of the reasons why I’m a pretty good speller. However, watching this show  reminded me that while I’m a fairly good speller, I don’t know what any of the words mean, which is something I need to work on before the GRE. Apparently, GRE requires you to know a lot of words, and I know none of them.

-I have a new ThinkPad! My six-year-old ThinkPad has served me well. I kind of wanted a mac, but then I realized I didn’t really need a mac. So, I’m sticking with my trusty, nondescript-looking little PC.

-My parents left yesterday to go back to the homeland. It was a good visit, but it was nonetheless stressful. During their time here, I felt the dark mood come over me. I couldn’t figure out if it was just the stress or it was real depression. Today was my session with Dr. A, so I spoke about how I’ve been feeling for a while. If this possible depression subsists, she suggested that I go through one more ECT treatment. She asked me if I even wanted to have it scheduled for this week. I’m not hesitant about the treatment, but I resisted having it so quickly when I don’t even know if this is legitimate depression, or just the temporary dumps. She is on vacation next week. What a great time for me to be in this shape.

-I really hope I can get back to writing something of value tomorrow and be able to expand on some of the thoughts I’ve had this week. I feel deflated.


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