memory loss (of a whole different kind)

I’ve finally begun the task of studying for the GRE: the Graduate Record Exam. I have less than three weeks to get myself at least acquainted with the format of the exam. I bought some books, flashcards, and a notebook, giving myself ample tools to study. Of course, they’re not all that useful if you end up watching “Jon and Kate plus 8” instead…

But I’ve managed to start learning (or re-learning) some GRE vocabulary. It’s a tedious task, and there’s really no creative way to learn those words than to just become very, very acquainted with them. Then, I moved on to the math study section. When I saw the chapter entitled “Arithmetic,” I thought, how hard could it be? As I began to read over those math rules we studied in middle school, a sense of horror came over me as I realized I don’t remember half of these seemingly easy math laws.

And I thought memory loss from ECT wasn’t fun. Memory loss simply as a result of not having seen any simple math problems since around high school is quite frankly embarrassing. I’ve even taken this exam once before, and I cannot recall any familiarity from the time before.

So, as I did when I couldn’t remember directions post ECT, I am now retracing my steps slowly but surely in order to firmly get a grasp on those simple equation rules.

As much trouble as I am having trying to study for the GRE, I am actually having a even harder time writing anything. With everything going on, I should feel interested in things, right? It took someone else’s suggesting me to write about this whole GRE deal. In the hospital, I remember the nurse recording my mood as “affect: flat.” That pretty much explains it for the week. My mind’s just lost interest, not necessarily in life, but in the routine things like reading even a single news article or watching Meet the Press. I’m tired but still haven’t found a way to fall asleep tonight. Perhaps I should shut down this little laptop and just hope that tomorrow will be a little better – at least better enough so I can write about something.


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