Last minute questions

When morning comes, I will be having another ECT treatment…number 17 (or my second maintenance treatment – that sounds a little better).  Probably not the best thing to watch “In Treatment” to keep one’s mood up, but I’m watching the show and drinking water before that “no drinking after midnight” rule takes effect. This is starting to feel like ECT is just a routine thing I do on Mondays. It kind of gives “having a case of the Mondays” a different meaning…

Cognitively speaking, I’ve tolerated the treatments extremely well. There seems to be no important information that’s missing from my memory nor has my cognitive abilities been really altered. Even if there was some impairment during the treatments, like the APA’s ECT Task Force Report 14 says, it was temporary. I know the facts, and I know my past experiences. However, I can’t help but wonder if the next time will be different. What if the little spark occurs in just the spot that controls something important? What if I’m not so lucky this time?

I guess I’ll know tomorrow. And I think I’ll have some ice cream before the midnight deadline….

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