“The word ‘happiness’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” -Carl Jung
It’s been a while since I’ve written what’s been going on. Other than some personal pictures, most posts have been about some article or an event. I suppose that’s perfectly fine, but I feel I need to type something about my own life, since this is, first and foremost, meant to be a journal. So, between school, work and the rest, it’s been an uneventful week. I’ve been working fairly hard (but not hard enough) on trying to pick a thesis topic.
But mostly, I’ve been sad.
I don’t exactly know why, and I’m not quite sure there is a clear answer for this mood. But I can actually recognize that the sadness I feel isn’t depression. Though my mood is down, I have been able to get out of bed in the morning and accomplish what I need to do, like going to work or school (The fact that my house isn’t too clean has more to do with laziness than feeling low). I don’t feel like I’m wading in a sea of molasses. And perhaps the biggest difference, the thought of death hasn’t come over me, and I haven’t considered suicide. (Before I decided that it was indeed just sadness, I did look up some articles that differentiated between sadness and depression. )
In this sadness, I realized that I can have emotions that are not tied as a symptom of an illness. Just a genuine emotion. I think I’m getting back to learning to be a whole human being again.
A complete side note: I’m glad those “darling clementines” are back in season, though they remind me of that Elliot Smith song. And I bought some crystallized ginger for the first time. They’re strangely delicious.