permanence

It’s autumn. The leaves have begun to change color, and some have already fallen to the pavement. You can see the leaves just flying away, carried by the breeze.  I usually love just watching these colors, but this year, the change in season has been coupled with some dreary days. I can’t remember the last time there was blue sky. Anyway, the auburn hues will in the coming weeks  all turn to the color of the earth and find themselves on the ground, as if they were returning back to the soil that brought them up. They teach me that there is no permanence in life. That’s the only thing that doesn’t change.

I found out that my freshman roommate’s mother had passed away. It wasn’t sudden, but from cancer that she, just this spring, found out had already ravaged her whole body. My roommate Katherine had kept a blog chronicling this journey until her mother’s death. I could not stop crying as I read those words, so beautifully written. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that my own mother was diagnosed with cancer two years ago (she’s currently doing fine). Sure, it did hit close to home, but my tears were more than about that. In reading Katherine’s blog I saw a sense of strength despite what must be a difficult time. I found that inner strength so beautiful, but I was so sad that it was in this time that I recognized that part about Katherine. I think a part of me wished I could be more like her.

I look outside and see the trees. I think about Katherine. Though I cannot imagine the pain, it’s clear to me that Katherine will be fine.

Then I notice that those trees were now against a brilliant blue background.

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