A musical term, `To the beginning,` it`s marked where it seems to be the end of a piece, but really isn`t. So, here we are, at the end of 2009. Sure it`s the end of the year, but what it means is that we return back to the beginning as soon as this day is over. I`m kind of at a loss for words. My one-year anniversary for ECT is in January, so I`ll save my sappy comments for a few weeks later, but today is a milestone of some sort. It dawns on me that just a year ago, I planned on never being here. This morning, I felt the cold breeze touch my cheeks, and I realized, I am here. I made it through the year that wasn`t supposed to be. I started the year full of uncertainty and a few months of a treatment that was done pretty much as a last resort. I`m still having ECT on a monthly basis, but with the help of that `little spark` along with family and friends, I`m, well, alive and doing pretty well.
In Japan, it`s a day to clean the house and to prepare for tomorrow`s feast (kind of like a Japanese Thanksgiving), so I probably should go help out instead of laboring over what I want to say on my journal. I still don`t really look to the future. It`s hard for me to think much past a few days, but today, I`m looking forward to welcoming tomorrow, a new year and who I can continue to grow to become.