backpedaling

It`s the new year, and I can`t believe I`m about to write the following: I feel like I`ve been hit by that New-Year Times Square ball. Am I trying to say what I think I mean by that? Yup, I feel depressed.

It came pretty much without warning. I`ve been eating right, exercising, and missed only one dose of meds during the whole time I`ve been here. I felt a sudden change in mood a little after dinner time. Within hours, it got so bad that I couldn`t even pretend that I was fine. I separated myself from the family and went upstairs to sulk by myself.Then, the tears started to roll because I am just annoyed that this has to happen. I want so badly to think that I am feeling okay, but to no avail. All I am thinking is, why does this have to happen now?

I`m now just hoping that this is one of those moments of being a rapid-cycler. Maybe by the time I wake up in the morning, my mood will have cycled back to its norm. I guess all I can do now is to just wait it out.

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