Seven years and counting

It was seven years ago today when I first attempted suicide. Every year, I struggle with this anniversary and this month in general, and it seemed at the beginning of this February that it would be the case. I become filled with thoughts of suicide and wonder why it is that I can’t seem to get it accomplished. I feared that when February 16 came, that I would once again not be able to function.

So, today came, and what is my head filled with? The lyrics to the song “That’s How You Know” from the Disney movie “Enchanted.” Maybe it’s the ECT from Friday that’s kept me in an up mood. Or the fact that I’m having to study for a test that’s tomorrow. Whatever it is, I feel like some spell had been broken. It really is such an odd feeling to actually feel okay today. Instead of telling myself all sorts of horrible things, I told myself, “I’m going to be okay.”

*******

By the way, tomorrow’s my appointment to have EMDR. I spoke with the therapist who I’ll be seeing tomorrow. She says that many people say that one session of EMDR is like having gone through six months of therapy.

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