March-ing on

I have EMDR tomorrow. I have ECT next week. Sometimes it feels like that’s all I’m doing. In and out of treatments. plus the meds. I know that this isn’t going to be forever, but today’s one of those days when it seems like I am on a never-ending cycle of treatments after treatments. I guess it just hit me that all of this gets to be a bit tiring. I feel it in my body. I feel it in my soul. I am tired.

I wonder how I came to signing up for all these therapies when I thought about death so much. Maybe a part of me wanted to somehow hang on.

In these times, I remind myself that I have to keep on going. It’s still cold outside, but soon spring will come.

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