worth the weight

I am in Santa Barbara today. My sister and I are tagging along with my father, who has a conference in Santa Barbara for the next several days. I thought it might be a good opportunity for me to use my ‘up in air’ time to think up of something to write for the blog. However, I didn’t bring any paper with me. Good thing there were some of those puke bags available. I decided to use them as my ‘idea pad,’ and I eventually ended up covering the whole bag with some writing. Above is a picture of the freshly decorated puke bag. I think it looks kind of neat.

Anyway…my father decided to fly into my hometown for a day before flying out to Santa Barbara. We had a nice time together just shopping around for some stuff at Target, the mall, etc. When we went to a restaurant for dinner, he sat in front of me and said, “You’ve lost weight…..your face is smaller. You’re pretty, but you look prettier than the last time.”

I sat quietly as he told me this. It’s not that I didn’t expect a comment like this out of him. I know he means well, in that he doesn’t want me to have to deal with things like metabolic syndrome. But it’s as if I’m worth more if I’m thinner, that my parents’ approval only comes when I weigh a certain amount. Though I appreciate their concern for my health, it makes me wonder if those comments are healthy for me, emotionally speaking. As much as I can tell myself to ignore their comments, some of it does seep into my mind.

Oh, I’m just trying to keep in mind that I made a commitment last month to ‘get stronger,’ and that it had nothing to do with how others felt about my weight….


3 Comments to “worth the weight”

  1. I think the puke bag looks pretty with your writing! It actually looks like a gift bag now, haha!

    My parents did the same thing to me, I visited my dad for the summer at 125 lbs before my Senior year in HS. He has terrible eating habits which soon became my habits that summer and I gained 5-10 pounds and he was quick about saying how I had gained weight and had me going to the YMCA to exercise. Keep in mind, this is a very obese man, well over 300 pounds.

    I totally get where you’re coming from. Your father may have meant well enough though? He didn’t say you had needed to lose weight did he?

  2. I love your bag! And, ideas galore. Weight has always been an issue with my mom. I’ve had comments both ways. I am petite-short/had began upping my workout-I got skinny/my mom told me i was too old to be that skinny/I was ugly in the face…then I gain weight from depression and meds/now she says I look great-even though I’m not happy and I’m not at a healthy weight. Go figure. Whatever my mom says to me now that I don’t like-I tell myself she’s old/doesn’t know what she’s talking about…

  3. KansasSunflower, thanks for sharing your story.

    My father meant well, and so does my mother, when she brings up my weight. But I think it’s just hard when those comments come up so constantly. Well, he didn’t say I needed to lose weight this time, but I’ve heard that before.

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