deciding to misuse stimulants

It’s due tomorrow.

I’ve been sitting at the same spot on the couch with my laptop in front of me for nearly the entire day. It’s the last paper I need to write for this class, but not a single word has been written. Between all the stuff that’s going on, I am completely distracted from this particular task at hand—not to mention the fact that the Patriots and the Jets were playing tonight. I’ve never been all that good about writing papers in advance, but even this is a late start for me—way beyond last-minute. Really, all I need to do is just start writing and just get it done. But I can’t seem to even start. I’m asking myself, How am I going to get this paper done?

Then, I remembered something: isn’t a time like this when people abuse ADHD meds to be able to stay awake and study? And I realized: what do I have in my house but Concerta, one of those ADHD drugs? Let me be clear that I did not obtain these pills illegally. Concerta is one of the medications I’ve been taking regularly for seven years, so I don’t even know if taking more Concerta would help someone like me, who already take the stuff, do more schoolwork. I am well aware that this pill isn’t going to magically scroll out a paper for me.  But apparently, it’s worked for others in crunch time, and naturally, I wonder if it will somehow help me out.

Oh, I know this isn’t the right thing to do, but I am so tempted to do something I’ve looked down upon when other people talked about misusing  (other people’s) ADHD meds.

As the clock nears the deadline, I am drawn closer and closer to breaking my own conscience.

 

 

 

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