There’s a song that my boyfriend often likes to mention to me. It’s the Get Up Kids’ “Don’t Worry I’ll Catch You,” and he whispers that line to me when I seem like I need a little encouragement. Thankfully, he hasn’t had to deal with the depths of my emotions lately until late afternoon last week. We were sitting on the couch, and out of nowhere, my anxiety level shot up and I couldn’t control my breathing. Pretty soon, I began to cry continuously for no really good reason. He could’ve kept doing whatever it was he was doing, but instead, he sat with me and let me know that he was there for me. While the episode was still painful, it was the first time I felt that kind of support from someone. And the first time when I knew that it was okay to feel how I was feeling at the time. No rush, no fuss. He just let me be. I eventually came out of that episode a few hours later, and it was, I must admit, really nice to see someone beside me who stood by my side the whole time, no judgment.
So, he’s been my ‘safety net’ in this example but I’ve also wrapped him up in my web of thoughts when he’s down or have concerns. While he quotes that song to me, we both support each other regardless of how our moods are doing.
In six weeks or so, he will be the one taking me to ECT. It’s not the most usual way for a couple to get closer to each other, but his taking me to my ECT appointment will only bring us closer to a relationship that’s already built on understanding, respect and love.